Sharing a free gift today with my “Community Patrons.” It’s from my new book of 60 poems, EVERYONE NEEDS A BOTTLE SMASHING RANGE, which I dedicated to Anne Finegold, my “Public Patron” member on Patreon – whose faith in, enthusiasm for, and financial support of my work have contributed not only to the creation of this book, but also to my confidence in my art. 

If this poem touches your heart, please consider becoming a Patreon member at the “Poetry Patron” level ($5/month) or above. Details and sign-up here

Listen to the spoken word performance of this poem in this post, and if you feel moved by it, please consider becoming a Patreon member at the “Spoken Word Patron” level ($10/month) or above. Details and sign-up here.

IN THE SPLENDOR OF LEAVES CHANGING COLOR

I write songs

As my way of communicating

The depth of my feelings

But I find that words

Are silly inadequate

To express the vastness of grief

That I feel

Without you here

The omnipresent void

That threatens to engulf me

In a dark abyss

My world is shattered

I feel resentful

That life carries on

Without you

In the splendor

Of leaves changing color

Glorious shades of red orange and yellow

Gracefully falling to the ground

Signaling the beginning of

What was always

My favorite season

But what now

Signals the end

Of summer

Of you

Here alive

Making me crazy

As I love you infinitely

And as you love me back

Just as much if not more

I will never have an anchor

like you

Timeless bind

Of birth heart life soul

I try to reconfigure my idea

Of infinity

So that your death signals

not the end but the beginning

of something even more

Vast and magnificent

As old as time itself

And as timeless as Gd

As you rejoin the stars

And morph into

The limitlessness of Creation

But I find that while I understand

That you are more than this

As am I

I need a touchstone

That physicality

Means a lot to me

That I am in fact attached

To the body

Which I have always recognized

As the vehicle

For connection

But I am open

Ema Mommy

You told me you will be with me always

And that we can talk to each other

And that you will hug me

Through the purple telephone

So I trudge on

Through this debilitating grief

And try to reconceptualize

My ideas about

Beginnings and endings

Connection and sensation

Expanding my consciousness

Engaging the extrasensory field

That you celebrated

So that I can find you

And wrap my hand around your finger

For eternity

– Excerpt from EVERYONE NEEDS A BOTTLE-SMASHING RANGE(©2021, all rights reserved), which you can purchase to nourish your soul while supporting my art. My Patreon members get 20% off this book and all my digital products. hhttps://khazzoom.com/product/everyone-needs-a-bottle-smashing-range/ Become a Patreon member for as little as $3/month, cancel anytime. Details here https://www.patreon.com/KHAZZOOM