Dear Journal + patrons, please enjoy this monthly bonus poem and the original handwritten journal entry. I am also sharing a painting that artist Cheryl Herndon was inspired to create, after seeing a photograph of me from a photo shoot on the beach, taken by Moriel O’Connor, for my latest album, Stripped Bare. The painting is the perfect accompaniment to this particular poem. My cat got in on the action when I was photographing my journal, so I figured I’d include that photo as well!

I used to be
The teacher the mother
The warrior the healer
Holding all of the pieces together
The tiny details
And how they lined up
In service to the big picture

I put it all together
And offered it to you
Whole complete
All the work done
And presented on a silver platter

But I didn’t account
For the matter
Of your limitations or debilitating laziness
Whether it was truly the former
Or just caused by the latter

Because I chose early on
To do whatever it took
To overcome limitations altogether
And dove into an ocean
Where possibilities were infinite
Stretching on forever

Meanwhile I continued holding onto the stories
Memories
Of how all the threads wove together
Thinking I could explain it to you
Someday
And you would understand

But that day never came
And I know now it never will

So instead of treading water
In this ocean
Waiting forever
I’ve decided
To simply float in the sunshine
Down my own blissful River

©2021 by Loolwa Khazzoom. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be copied without author’s permission.